7:00am wake up from a nightmare about dying dogs and serial killers...
7:15 stumble into living room, feed dogs, feed cat, feed fish, and water plants..strategically place pink post=its all around the house and in Neil's car, professing my love for him.
8:00am - Drop Yoshi at vet for $600 ultrasound
8:35pm come home, make Neil and I breakfast
9:00am Balance my budget, catch up on some over due emails, write long political rant about public health option on Facebook.
9:30am - start three hours of homework
12:20pm - shower and run around trying to make sure I find everything I need in order to leave the house.(phone, bluetooth, sun glasses, eye glasses, Ipod, keys, hand sanitizer, make-up, wallet, directions, misc paperwork.)
1:00pm - Leave to rush downtown and meet friend for lunch
1:25pm arrive downtown, spend 10 mins looking for a parking meter(three blocks from restaurant and it is 90 degrees outside) . Realize I only have 50 mins worth of change. curse myself for forgetting more quarters.
1:30pm arrive for lunch with friend, save friend from having nervous breakdown.
2:30pm - race to appt with lawyer, get terribly lost.
3:00 arrive at lawyer exactly on time, fill out half hour of paperwork, get call that my dog is ready, hire lawyer on the spot.
4:00 - race to target for some essentials ( printing paper, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, etc...) get lost in Target time warp for 45 mins...
5:00pm leave target to drive across town in POURING rain and rush hour traffic to get yoshi from vet. make over due phone calls, help plan best friend's Friday night crafting party..
5:45 Pick up yoshi- only to be told that after a full day and a $600 ultra sound that they still have no idea what is wrong and we need to do a $1200 scoping. Spend 20 mins in waiting room waiting for doggy discharge.
6:05pm - arrive home, spend 30 mins speed cleaning the house.
6:35pm Greet boyfriend who is home from work. Give boyfriend some Wednesday loving.
7:10 - start more homework
7:35 make dinner - tacos
8:10pm clean up dinner, feed dogs dinner
8:30- do another 2.5 hours of homework
11:00pm - print out homework, pack book bag for tomorrow, wash face, brush teeth, put in retainer, dab on under-eye cream.
11:30pm finish blog, pray for at least 7 hours of sleep before alarm blares at 6:45am tomorrow.
night- night
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
peek a boo
I am sitting here bored. Bored by choice as a matter of fact. I could be doing at least 10 different productive things right now, but instead I am here. Looking at this sad abandoned blog. Wondering where the instinct went that compelled me to share my boring little life with an absentee internet audience.
I hate this blog. I hate that it's here.. However, erasing this one seems wrong. Everything else I can wipe out without a single regret , but this seems more sacred than all the others. It is an empty reminder of who I was months ago. Normally, I like to forget that person, forget all those thoughts. That way I can really live in the moment. The less reminders of the past, the less compulsion to live in it. I must wipe it away in order to propel forward.
My memory is getting worse everyday. I completely forget people who have called, texted, and even wrote. As soon as I put off returning someone's call, email or text message ; the event is gone from my mind. I HATE THAT! DAMN YOU MS!!
I want to go be creative right now. I want to go paint, or sew or create something. But that seems like a luxury indulgence. I should be using my time for more practical things. Like bathing the dog, watching my Aunt slowly die, or cleaning my car. I think I am hard wired wrong. Too much catholic guilt for someone who was never REALLY catholic.
My creative side bloomed late in life. I always felt creative but creations never really manifested. But now , everything inspires me. I want to create all the time. Of course, not much is original. I copy most of what i create... but that helps my technique.
That's it. that is all I feel like writing now. But even this little blurb felt good.
I hate this blog. I hate that it's here.. However, erasing this one seems wrong. Everything else I can wipe out without a single regret , but this seems more sacred than all the others. It is an empty reminder of who I was months ago. Normally, I like to forget that person, forget all those thoughts. That way I can really live in the moment. The less reminders of the past, the less compulsion to live in it. I must wipe it away in order to propel forward.
My memory is getting worse everyday. I completely forget people who have called, texted, and even wrote. As soon as I put off returning someone's call, email or text message ; the event is gone from my mind. I HATE THAT! DAMN YOU MS!!
I want to go be creative right now. I want to go paint, or sew or create something. But that seems like a luxury indulgence. I should be using my time for more practical things. Like bathing the dog, watching my Aunt slowly die, or cleaning my car. I think I am hard wired wrong. Too much catholic guilt for someone who was never REALLY catholic.
My creative side bloomed late in life. I always felt creative but creations never really manifested. But now , everything inspires me. I want to create all the time. Of course, not much is original. I copy most of what i create... but that helps my technique.
That's it. that is all I feel like writing now. But even this little blurb felt good.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
sneaking back on ....
Only for a moment.
For the first time in months I actually have some down time and I miss this blog. However, I like it better when I think no-one is reading it and it is like my secret diary.
So my first semester in the education department at USF officially KICKED my ass. I am still a little shell shocked by how much work they expected us to do in eight weeks. I am not completely sure how I not only survived the semester, much less how I managed to get two A's and a B.
Right now my life is still a big bucket of flux. I just turned 32 ( happy belated birthday to me) and other then finally picking my major, I have no idea what direction my life is headed in.
I have a vague idea of what I want, but with no real game plan of how it will happen. I guess I have a strange underlying belief that it will all work itself out somehow. I have a pretty strong sense of who I am, but with no real concept of what that means.
Last night Neil and I went to see " The Hangover". It wasn't great, but it was amusing enough. Before the movie started , I ran to the restroom, while Neil nailed down some seats. As I was walking into the bathroom, I ran into a female employee whose was walking out. As I quickly glanced at face, I noticed that she was crying. Instantly, I tensed up and had to physically restrain myself from trying to comfort her. For the next ten minutes all I could do was ponder why she may have been crying. Was she a jilted lover? Did someone die? Was someone extra rude about the salty popcorn? All I could do was piece together stories in my mind.
Then I thought about two days earlier when I had cried in public.
Why you ask?
Well, about a month ago my Aunt had a very serious heart attack. She has been in critical condition ever since. I am not sure she is going to make it. I don't know how to handle the emotions this has triggered.
Sunday, Neil and I went to my favorite Italian restaurant. I have been going to this cafe since I was about six years old. It is my family's favorite place to eat. I have been there with my aunt a million times. All the wait staff knows her by name. I had not considered this when I choose the place. All I was thinking about was their DELICIOUS calamari. As soon as I entered the place, I thought of my aunt. As soon as I thought of her, I suddenly felt tears well up in my eyes as I felt a stabbing pain enter my heart. All of a sudden I REALLY missed my aunt and realized the giant hole her absence would bring to my life. At the exact same moment the waitress asked me " how is your aunt doing?" I could barely bring myself to answer with a meek "okay" before I changed the subject. One more word about my aunt and I would have been HYSTERICALLY crying. The poor confused waitress had to notice me weeping as it was.
I wonder if this waitress had been impacted by my public display of broken heart, as much as the crying movie employee had impacted me.
It's raining outside, I love the rain.. The rain drops are thick and heavy; the sky is dark. The hum of my computer makes me feel safe and cozy inside.
I think I am going to go into the living room and do a little painting. I have started a peacock painting and I am very curious as to how it will turn out.
I am not used to having free time and I am not sure quite what to do with myself honestly.
I should go to the gym and work out...
However......
For the first time in months I actually have some down time and I miss this blog. However, I like it better when I think no-one is reading it and it is like my secret diary.
So my first semester in the education department at USF officially KICKED my ass. I am still a little shell shocked by how much work they expected us to do in eight weeks. I am not completely sure how I not only survived the semester, much less how I managed to get two A's and a B.
Right now my life is still a big bucket of flux. I just turned 32 ( happy belated birthday to me) and other then finally picking my major, I have no idea what direction my life is headed in.
I have a vague idea of what I want, but with no real game plan of how it will happen. I guess I have a strange underlying belief that it will all work itself out somehow. I have a pretty strong sense of who I am, but with no real concept of what that means.
Last night Neil and I went to see " The Hangover". It wasn't great, but it was amusing enough. Before the movie started , I ran to the restroom, while Neil nailed down some seats. As I was walking into the bathroom, I ran into a female employee whose was walking out. As I quickly glanced at face, I noticed that she was crying. Instantly, I tensed up and had to physically restrain myself from trying to comfort her. For the next ten minutes all I could do was ponder why she may have been crying. Was she a jilted lover? Did someone die? Was someone extra rude about the salty popcorn? All I could do was piece together stories in my mind.
Then I thought about two days earlier when I had cried in public.
Why you ask?
Well, about a month ago my Aunt had a very serious heart attack. She has been in critical condition ever since. I am not sure she is going to make it. I don't know how to handle the emotions this has triggered.
Sunday, Neil and I went to my favorite Italian restaurant. I have been going to this cafe since I was about six years old. It is my family's favorite place to eat. I have been there with my aunt a million times. All the wait staff knows her by name. I had not considered this when I choose the place. All I was thinking about was their DELICIOUS calamari. As soon as I entered the place, I thought of my aunt. As soon as I thought of her, I suddenly felt tears well up in my eyes as I felt a stabbing pain enter my heart. All of a sudden I REALLY missed my aunt and realized the giant hole her absence would bring to my life. At the exact same moment the waitress asked me " how is your aunt doing?" I could barely bring myself to answer with a meek "okay" before I changed the subject. One more word about my aunt and I would have been HYSTERICALLY crying. The poor confused waitress had to notice me weeping as it was.
I wonder if this waitress had been impacted by my public display of broken heart, as much as the crying movie employee had impacted me.
It's raining outside, I love the rain.. The rain drops are thick and heavy; the sky is dark. The hum of my computer makes me feel safe and cozy inside.
I think I am going to go into the living room and do a little painting. I have started a peacock painting and I am very curious as to how it will turn out.
I am not used to having free time and I am not sure quite what to do with myself honestly.
I should go to the gym and work out...
However......
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The end of a blog!
Hi guys,
Due to some unforeseen changes, I am going to have to make some big decisions in my life and discover some new adventures. Therefore I won't be able to devote any more time to this blog detailing my boring life. So instead of leaving you hanging, I am going to take this time to say ciao. It's been fun. Thanks for reading, commenting and showing such support. Maybe when I get back on course I'll start a new blog.... but until then ...
Good bye!
Due to some unforeseen changes, I am going to have to make some big decisions in my life and discover some new adventures. Therefore I won't be able to devote any more time to this blog detailing my boring life. So instead of leaving you hanging, I am going to take this time to say ciao. It's been fun. Thanks for reading, commenting and showing such support. Maybe when I get back on course I'll start a new blog.... but until then ...
Good bye!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
trying to be a glass is half full sort of girl!
Okay so I feel a little guilty for not writing sooner. But every time I sat down to write, I hated everything that came out. Sometimes I get serious writer's block. So today I decided to publish whatever I wrote even if I hated it. Not a great way to start a blog I know.
The past few weeks have been a blur. Today marks the two month point of not having a job, and it seems so much longer than that. Even though I am officially unemployed, I am always on the go. I was SUPER busy when I had a job, and now that I don't have a job; I am just REALLY busy :)
The past two weeks have been a mix of strangeness. My body is completely out of whack. I am still recovering from chemo(it was a whole month ago), I am just pulling out of a post chemo induced flare-up, I am on a intense diet( that involves taking diet pills), and I have wicked PMS. Needless to say I have been a tad bit moody. I have also been trying to avoid a serious depression.
It so easy, sometimes, to focus on the negatives in life. I have MS, I have no job, I have two years left of school.. blah, blah.. boo hoo. However I have spent the last week really trying to clear my head, doing some serious self reflection, and basically trying to change my attitude. I can spend all my time focusing on the scary depressing things or I could focus on the good things and obtaining my goals. It is so easy to get bogged down in the negative. It's so much harder to push it out of my head and just "let it go".
Neil and I started couples therapy this week. We have had some communication problems lately, which led us to realize that are facing some big challenges in our relationship. Luckily we have a good therapist that we found about a year ago. His name is Dr. Quinn and he must be about 85 years old. He is very intelligent, funny, and most of all... very direct. Dr. Quinn doesn't pussy foot around, so to speak. He calls it like he sees it and gets to the heart of the matter quickly. I always appreciate the fact that Neil is willing to go to couples therapy when we face hurdles in our relationship. I know it is harder for him than it is for me, because he is so naturally introverted.
Aside from therapy, Neil and I also decided to take our birthday trip to North Carolina this year. I am so excited about it. I have NEVER been to North Carolina and I have ALWAYS wanted to go. We are going to stay mostly around the Asheville area. We found a really adorable cabin we are going to rent for three nights. It is pretty secluded, and it has a hot tub! For the other nights that we are in North Carolina we are either go to camp out underneath the stars or couchsurf. I really need a nature vacation. Hiking, canoeing, rafting.. it all sounds heavenly. Although we hear that Ashville is a pretty happening little town, so we may get in some fun nightlife as well.
So I have officially been on the "Desired Image" weight loss plan for two weeks tomorrow. Since my best friends own the diet clinic, I get an incredible deal. So far I have lost around nine lbs. Honestly, I don't know if I would have stuck to it, if my best friends didn't run the clinic. They offer me such support. It has not been easy to break my bad eating habits, However, it has definitely been worth all the hard work. I feels good to take some control over that part of my life. And it feels even better to see the numbers on the scale go down. I have five lbs left to loose to get back to my pre-campath weight. I have two weight lose goals after that, so I really hope I can keep the momentum going.
Today is my last official day of class for this semester. I have one week left after today of an online class and then I get a two week break from school. Whoo hoo, another semester down! Only five more to go. As of May 11, I should completely be admitted to the elementary education program at USF. It has proven quite difficult to get into this program. They really make you do a crap load of stuff. But I am keeping my eye on the prize. I can't believe it has taken me so long to figure out what I want to be, and I am still in a little shock that what I want to be is an elementary school teacher. But I feel good about everything. I also decided that if I absolutely hate teaching, I will probably go on to law school as opposed to graduate school. I'd love to do some advocacy law and maybe use my law skills for good instead of evil.
But I can only focus on one goal at a time. And right now that goal is getting my observation paper done for class tonight.
So, sorry it has taken me so long to update. Hopefully this marks the end to my writer's block.
till we meet again!
The past few weeks have been a blur. Today marks the two month point of not having a job, and it seems so much longer than that. Even though I am officially unemployed, I am always on the go. I was SUPER busy when I had a job, and now that I don't have a job; I am just REALLY busy :)
The past two weeks have been a mix of strangeness. My body is completely out of whack. I am still recovering from chemo(it was a whole month ago), I am just pulling out of a post chemo induced flare-up, I am on a intense diet( that involves taking diet pills), and I have wicked PMS. Needless to say I have been a tad bit moody. I have also been trying to avoid a serious depression.
It so easy, sometimes, to focus on the negatives in life. I have MS, I have no job, I have two years left of school.. blah, blah.. boo hoo. However I have spent the last week really trying to clear my head, doing some serious self reflection, and basically trying to change my attitude. I can spend all my time focusing on the scary depressing things or I could focus on the good things and obtaining my goals. It is so easy to get bogged down in the negative. It's so much harder to push it out of my head and just "let it go".
Neil and I started couples therapy this week. We have had some communication problems lately, which led us to realize that are facing some big challenges in our relationship. Luckily we have a good therapist that we found about a year ago. His name is Dr. Quinn and he must be about 85 years old. He is very intelligent, funny, and most of all... very direct. Dr. Quinn doesn't pussy foot around, so to speak. He calls it like he sees it and gets to the heart of the matter quickly. I always appreciate the fact that Neil is willing to go to couples therapy when we face hurdles in our relationship. I know it is harder for him than it is for me, because he is so naturally introverted.
Aside from therapy, Neil and I also decided to take our birthday trip to North Carolina this year. I am so excited about it. I have NEVER been to North Carolina and I have ALWAYS wanted to go. We are going to stay mostly around the Asheville area. We found a really adorable cabin we are going to rent for three nights. It is pretty secluded, and it has a hot tub! For the other nights that we are in North Carolina we are either go to camp out underneath the stars or couchsurf. I really need a nature vacation. Hiking, canoeing, rafting.. it all sounds heavenly. Although we hear that Ashville is a pretty happening little town, so we may get in some fun nightlife as well.
So I have officially been on the "Desired Image" weight loss plan for two weeks tomorrow. Since my best friends own the diet clinic, I get an incredible deal. So far I have lost around nine lbs. Honestly, I don't know if I would have stuck to it, if my best friends didn't run the clinic. They offer me such support. It has not been easy to break my bad eating habits, However, it has definitely been worth all the hard work. I feels good to take some control over that part of my life. And it feels even better to see the numbers on the scale go down. I have five lbs left to loose to get back to my pre-campath weight. I have two weight lose goals after that, so I really hope I can keep the momentum going.
Today is my last official day of class for this semester. I have one week left after today of an online class and then I get a two week break from school. Whoo hoo, another semester down! Only five more to go. As of May 11, I should completely be admitted to the elementary education program at USF. It has proven quite difficult to get into this program. They really make you do a crap load of stuff. But I am keeping my eye on the prize. I can't believe it has taken me so long to figure out what I want to be, and I am still in a little shock that what I want to be is an elementary school teacher. But I feel good about everything. I also decided that if I absolutely hate teaching, I will probably go on to law school as opposed to graduate school. I'd love to do some advocacy law and maybe use my law skills for good instead of evil.
But I can only focus on one goal at a time. And right now that goal is getting my observation paper done for class tonight.
So, sorry it has taken me so long to update. Hopefully this marks the end to my writer's block.
till we meet again!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
